is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
