I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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