so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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