look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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