You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
