Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
