"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
