ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
