Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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