yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
