in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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