Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
