Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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