he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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