end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
