hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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