Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
