I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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