Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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