he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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