I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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