I am in a vortex of obligation.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have aggressive nipples.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
