Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
