i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
