She's JV to your varsity
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
