3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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