Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
