i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
