First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
