i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Rumble strips road head = magical
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
