it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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