i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
