you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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