no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize