shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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