That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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