I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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