I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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