"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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