You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
