Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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