ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
