Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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