she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
