Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
