You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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