i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
