Will you blow on my dice?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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