I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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