idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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