yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
