the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
