last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize