Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
