her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
