I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
