Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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