well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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