You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize