There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
