i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
