If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
two words: eviction party
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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