Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
