he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
