We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize