You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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